Thursday, November 15, 2007

Pet Peeve #3

Nothing makes me want to throw my phone across the room more than the post-message message now attached to 90% of cell phone voicemails:
"Hi, this is Ryan, please leave me a message, thanks."
(And just when you think it's going to beep...)
"If you'd like to leave a message, please stay on the line; to page this person, press 5 now; to leave a call back number, press 7... (dramatic pause for effect)... you can leave your message at the sound of the tone; when you are finished with your message, you may hang up, or press 1 for more options... ~BEEP~"

I have one friend whose voicemail actually says all that AND THEN repeats it in Spanish. I wish I was kidding...

10 year olds are hacking space stations with their iphones, and we're still being told how to leave voice messages. Am I the only one who has a problem with that?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"All of These Mysteries"

I have a good friend who I've worked with for several years now on songwriting and recording projects here in town. His name is Pete and he's just recently posted a song that he and I wrote together called "All of These Mysteries" on his myspace page. If you're interested, check it out and copy the link to your friends (Copy/paste this link into your browser):
www.myspace.com/wavealiasmusic

"All of These Mysteries"
(Verse 1)
I prayed for rain, but You sent a storm
I asked for victory, and so came the war that is raging in me
I prayed for strength, You carried me through
And all of these mysteries I surrender to You
All of these mysteries I surrender to You

(Verse 2)
Sometimes I pray with hope in the ends
But better I pray for hope in Your means of getting me there
God, have Your way in this broken man
Command what You will of me and will Your command
Command what You will of me in this broken man

(Bridge)
How long will I fail to wait and pray?
How long until You become my stay?

(Ending)
I prayed for rain, but You sent a storm
When I prayed for patience, Lord, You had me wait
And all of these mysteries I surrender to You
And all of these mysteries I surrender to You

Words & Music by Ryan Brasington and Pete Warren (c) 2007

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Stress Threshold

When it comes to stress, I've decided I'm a sprinter, not a long distance runner. Some people thrive on stress like most of us depend on coffee; if we have it, we're productive and satisfied, if we don't, we're irritable and worthless. And while it's not a healthy state to be wired for hyper-productivity, it's got certain enviable qualities: these people accomplish more in one year than most could get done in ten with three clones, no sleep, and a robot named Rosie.

I'm more a sprinter, I guess. I can handle large volumes of stress, dozens of sleepless nights, back to back 14 hour days, and still manage to love my work and my life- but I inevitably hit a wall somewhere around the three month mark.

The break-neck pace began for me in August and shows no sign of slowing down until Christmas is over. And just
today I reached my threshold- a whole month and a half shy of the finish line. I have no choice but to continue to keep up, but sometime between midnight when I went to bed last night and 6:30 when I woke up this morning, my brain switched to auto pilot. I know from past experience that there is still one final phase of stress coming that will signify the end (one way or another): when my eye starts twitching, then it's all over...

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Harvesting Wisdom


"But, as respects the majority of my corps of veterans, there will be no wrong done, if I characterize them generally as a set of wearisome old souls, who had gathered nothing worth preservation from their varied experience of life. They seemed to have flung away all the golden grain of practical wisdom, which they had enjoyed so many opportunities of harvesting, and most carefully to have stored their memories with the husks." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

This is a tragic scene. Aged men, despite the benefit of many years and experiences, who never learned the value of wisdom. In his introduction to The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne employs the metaphor of a harvest to describe, profoundly, the sad nature of the elderly men who ruled the town of Salem: "they enjoyed so many opportunities of harvesting [wisdom], and [yet they] most carefully [stored their memories with the husks]."

The real depth of this metaphor is in the motion of the words "practical wisdom," "harvesting," "stored," and "memories." In a wide-angle lens, the words themselves have a certain progress from seed to sowing to reaping: throughout our life experience, we will be given opportunities which are seeds of practical wisdom... we will either plant those seeds to bear fruit, or we will store them, where they will be tossed aside, wasted and forgotten with the husks... if we sow the seed, we will reap a proverbial bank of wisdom in our memory, where wisdom has been multiplied each day and distributed by the Holy Spirit, according to His most excellent use.

God doesn't tell us to manufacture wisdom, He tells us to "make [our ears] attentive to wisdom" and to "seek her as silver and search for her as for hidden treasures." (Prov. 2:2,4) That is, God provides the seed by His Word and by His work, but only the wise man will recognize its worth; a fool looks at his lot and sees something trite and insignificant, but a wise man sees the harvest that is to come. And this kind of wisdom, being far better than merely practical wisdom, can only be informed by the Holy Spirit.

When we become believers in Christ, whose outer shell was broken, whose body was planted in the ground, and whose resurrection fruit has sprung up to eternal life, we are given a new imagination- a new wisdom. Those who have been transformed by the radical work of Christ will no longer blindly hold that the experiences of life- whether wonderful or unbearable- are merely meaningless kernels of wheat in their hands. But those who have tasted the Fruit of the Spirit have eyes that have been opened to the Paradise before them; they are suddenly made aware of the shame of their own nakedness so that in all things they may see the glory of their Provider's covering. As a consequence, the Christian will not wallow in the misery of his misfortune because he knows that his present suffering is not worth comparing to the joy he will know on the day of the harvest (Rom. 8:18); the believer's hope is not in a painless sowing, but in the Lord of the Harvest who is making all things new. (Rev. 21:4-5)

As a Christian grows in the image of his Father, he becomes a harvester by nature. As such, he will continually discipline himself to plant every action, every fall, every victory, and every defeat of his life firmly in the hope of Christ's redemption. And when this man is old, his memory will be a storehouse of wisdom, full of countless treasures, that are readily dispensed by the Holy Spirit.

"He who gathers in summer is a son who acts wisely, but he who sleeps in the harvest is a son who acts shamefully." (Prov. 10:5)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Some Darwin Award Highlights


Every year "The Darwin Awards" are published to honor those who were , by virtue of their own stupidity, removed from the gene pool for the sake of the greater good. While we wait for the 2007 awards to be published, I would like to share with you a few of my favorites from years past. Enjoy.

5. Mind over matter
http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1994-14.html

4. Kung Fu expert vs. lion
http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1994-13.html

3. When a land mine is the primary prop in a drinking game: http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1999-07.html

2. Jesus impersonators
http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1999-49.html

1. Rocket engine + Chevy Impala=
http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

Sunday, October 14, 2007

The Office

MEMORANDUM
From: Dwight K. Schrute
To: Office fans around the universe

Question: What is the best night of the week?
Answer: Thursdays. Every other night is stupid.

The author of this blog has recently added video clips entitled "The Office- Greatest Moments" . Well, as the Assistant Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch, I say that as funny as those clips are, they don't do justice to what were truly the greatest moments in our history. Those of you who have never watched our show before, I expect to see you on NBC this Thursday night at 9pm or disciplinary action will be taken. *Disclaimer: the law of nature requires that as soon as I recommend a tv show to anyone the next episode will be unusually offensive, raunchy, and obscene... it's not usually, I promise.

The Top Ten "Office" Moments According to Dwight K. Schrute:
10. When Jim left the Scranton office. "Ohhh, noooo, Jim's gone. What are we going to doooo? FALSE. I do not miss him."

9. When Michael told Toby that he hates everything about him. No one can explain Michael's hatred for Toby... but it's funny.

8. The day I unveiled my ingenious idea for a new consequence-reward system around the office: Schrute Bucks.

7. The day Pam was in tears in the hallway and I alone was there to console her. Upon approaching the crying victim, I quickly asked "Who did this to you? Where is he?" After a moment of silently listening to her sobbing, I calmly diagnosed the problem: "So you're PMS'ing pretty bad right now, huh?"

6. The day my computer challenged my sales ability and I defeated it. My computer started typing these messages to me, things like: "While you were reading this, I researched everything in the world and learned everything there is to know, and oh yeah, in that time I also sold more paper than you." But Michael and I were ultimately victorious over our cyber-foe when we delivered gift baskets to our former clientèle... that is, before Michael drove the car into the lake following the GPS' instructions.

5. "Diversity Day." Michael came up with this brilliant idea to help us appreciate diverse cultures. Each person had a post-it note on his/her forehead with "Jewish" or "Asian" or "Black" or something similar written on it. It was then the role of the other office members to talk to that person about himself/herself using descriptive statements about that point of view or nationality. Toby was ticked, but Michael's a genius.

4. The day Michael hit Meredith with his car. And then a couple weeks later, when Meredith asked Jim to sign her pelvic cast. (Meredith: "Thanks. I'll read that later.") Meredith is creepy.

3. Jim dressing up like me. Impersonation is the highest form of flattery, so I thank you, Jim.

2. The day I neutralized an assailant with my pepper spray. "For two years, I've brought pepper spray with me to the office and was laughed at... well who's laughing now?"

1. And the number one, most enlightening, greatest day in the office was the day Michael dressed up like a ganster to teach us all a valuable lesson: Prison isn't funny. Someone in the office joked that work was like a prison, so Michael did a dramatic presentation to shed light on the terrors of prison life by impersonating a gansta' from da' slamma' named "Prison Mike." There's really no adequate way to describe it, so you may re-live it here: (Warning: This clip is rated PG-13 for the use of the "B word"): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tB-3eD_V4JQ

I thank you for reading. Post your favorite moments of the show if you wish. On behalf of all of us here at Dunder Mifflin, I bid you adieu.

Sincerely,
Dwight K. Shrute
Assistant (to the) Regional Manager
Dunder Mifflin, Scranton

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Great Conversation???

Those of you who have been tuned in to my blog lately know that I recently partnered with a couple friends on a new series we kicked off called "The Great Conversation" (see below four or five posts if you want to catch up on the discussion). Adam, the masterful poet behind "Late Night Over Pancakes," and Dan, the excavator of the deep and profound truths within the "Pray Your Gods" blog, had both agreed to reply to my original post concerning "Christian" and "Secular" arts.

When I stepped to the plate a month and a half ago, Dan was in the batters box warming up, as he was the first scheduled to respond (and then Adam was going to respond after him). But alas, our good friend Dan is waiting for the right moment to take his home run swing; he is yet to take a crack at the discussion we have pitched his way. I've been checking his blog almost daily in eager anticipation and I hope you have been too.

He's a busy guy and extremely thoughtful about these things, so this post is simply to cheer Dan on and to give him a friendly push of inspiration- to encourage him to post his response by the end of this weekend, if possible. We're looking forward to reading what you've been processing these past few weeks, my friend.