Bon Iver

It's been a while since I've written a legitimate blog post. And there are at least a half dozen things I'm waiting for time to write about, but this one will be quick...

A new (at least to me) underground/indie artist caught my ear this morning. His name is Bon Iver. If you're a fan of mello acoustic guitar, raw, imperfect but soulful indie artists (perhaps in the Glen Hansard vein), Bon Iver might be your man. Check out the two songs on his myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/boniver
and see if you agree.

Steve Martin and Michael Caine co-star in this classic comedy about two con artists who schmooze wealthy and corrupt women in order to take them for all they're worth. Each have separately made a fine living off of stolen pearls, cars, and cash, but when both cons begin to prowl in the same French Riviera, fierce competition and hysterical comedy ensues.

The ever-so proper Lawrence Jamieson (Caine), is a master of con artistry. He has no time for chasing smaller victims; his eyes are roaming for extremely wealthy and wounded prey. When he finds such a woman, he plays on her compassions, telling her that he is a prince from an impoverished country and only- say $50,000- will save his people. In tears of sympathy, the woman gladly serves the greater good and helps his cause. Now $50,000 richer, Lawrence simply picks up and moves on to the next town.

Freddy Benson is in the same line of work, but is far less suave. He's more a hustler than an "artist." He's satisfied, for a while, with smaller game- a free dinner here, $20 there; but when chance leads him to the same wealthy town as Lawrence Jamieson and he sees the British con-artist making 10's of thousands of dollars, his appetite changes.

Knowing that Lawrence is the far superior con, Freddy asks him to be his mentor. Lawrence, unhappy with the new competition for his turf, decides to take Freddy under his wing with the secret ploy to drive Freddy away to greener pastures. "Perhaps," Lawrence thinks, "the best way to rid myself of this nuisance is to bring him closer." And so the training begins. Freddy learns to slick his hair back; to glide in his walk; to suavely tuck one hand in his coat pocket while the other hand raises a glass of champagne to the sapphire moon... And again, comedy ensues....

But sooner than later, it becomes clear to Freddy that Lawrence is taking advantage and not treating him with fairness. When working a "victim" together, Lawrence schmoozes the lady while Freddy is forced to play the mental monkey-brother, Ruprecht (see youtube clip on sidebar).







So, their feud will be resolved, the two decide, by a not-so-friendly competition: after agreeing on a woman, both will go to work trying to win her affections (and her wallet) while pretending not to know each other. Whoever gets her will be declared the winner. Freddy approaches their target as a paraplegic war vet who's grandmother is on her death bed and in need of surgery money. Lawrence, playing along, becomes the renowned German psychiatrist who alone can cure Freddy of his disorder, emphatically stating that Freddy's is a psychosomatic, not neurological, paralysis. So a battle of wits begins as the two cons try to out-con each other in order to win the prize.

(Warning: the next paragraph will spoil the movie for you if you haven't seen it and plan to)
After continually upping the stakes and nearly destroying each other, the two cons arrive separately at the same airport where the woman has fled. Both come with a different story about why the woman they've been chasing is now getting on a plane and about to take off. By the time the two cons realize that the woman they were chasing had been playing them from minute one, the plane was already in the air. She had spun them around to dizziness and proved to be the better con.

It's a great comedy with a surprising twist (well, now that I spoiled it, maybe not so much). But it's definitely a classic 80's movie in my book- well worth owning on DVD.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Ted: "Bill?"
Bill: "What?"
Ted: "Strange things are afoot at the Circle K."

I watched this movie religiously as a kid. It became the first movie of my young life that I could quote from beginning to end without missing a beat. In fact, I even learned how to play most of the soundtrack on the guitar. That's how much I loved this movie.

In 1988, Bill S. Preston "Esquire" and Ted Theodore Logan are dim-witted students at San Dimas High School whose only dream is to have a most triumphant rock band ("Wild Stallions"). But the band is going nowhere because, while they practice a lot, neither of them actually know how to play an instrument. And as for their high school career, they are destined to "flunk most heinously" unless they get an A+ on their oral History report. If they flunk out of school, Ted's father will send him to Alaska for military school, which would be the end of the band- and, as it turns out, the end of world civilization as we know it today in 2688.

While Bill and Ted are still contemplating the most "non-triumphant" possibility of flunking out of school and losing their band, Rufus (2688/present day) is getting into a time-traveling phone booth to begin his journey back to 1988. There he will help Bill and Ted get an A+ on their report and thus save the world as he knows it. If the band falls apart, the basis of their whole culture in 2688 will be lost (perhaps similar to America without the historical influence of Greece).

Only hours before their report, Bill and Ted travel back in time to capture "personages of historical significance," including Abraham Lincoln, Beethoven, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Joan of Arc, Sigmund Freud, Billy the Kid, and Socrates (pronounced "Soh-craytes"). Each of these figures from history speak in Bill and Ted's oral report, earning them an A+ and a second chance to make their own history through the music of Wild Stallions.

It's a ridiculous movie even in its day, but it's good fun nonetheless.

Next up: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Party on, dudes...

The Money Pit

I had never seen this movie before but it was recommended as an 80's movie I should add to my list.

It's about a guy and his girlfriend trying to settle down into a new house, but the house they buy has problem after problem (thus the house is called a "money pit"). I thought the plot was promising, especially being a relatively new home owner myself and understanding the woes of home maintenance. And it was mildly entertaining and somewhat funny in parts... But in the end, it's just a dumb movie.

It's really not worth much more discussion...

Next up: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Wargames

Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy star in this 1983 classic about a computer wiz and his girlfriend who accidentally nearly start World War III.

David (Broderick) is an underachiever in school but brilliant with computers. He hacks his high school database to change his F's to A's; he hot wires phone booths to bypass the need for quarters; David does not wait until next spring to play the newest games, he hacks into the game programmer's computers and plays them before they're publicly released.

The trouble begins when David is scanning (hacking) random computers in search of new games and stumbles upon one system with a whole list of password-protected tactical war games. After some research, he finally cracks into the system and chooses to play one of the games on the list: "Global Thermonuclear War." David and his girlfriend Jennifer (Sheedy) laugh innocently as they play, launching missiles from the Soviet Union to the U.S. and moving submarines and jet fighters into attack formation around Los Angeles and Seattle.

But as it turns out, the game they hacked was not a game; it is a sophisticated war simulation program of NORAD's supercomputer/defense system. Meanwhile (in real life), believing the nation to be under heavy nuclear attack, the U.S. Department of Defense prepares its nuclear arsenal to respond in kind.

Soon realizing the Pandora's box he's opened, David attempts to shut the game down but to no avail. The "game" simulation he started is designed to play out war strategies, learn from its tactical mistakes, and play until it wins. In this case, winning means the annihilation of the U.S.

And so a battle of wits and a race against the clock begins: David must escape FBI custody long enough to stop the computer and convince the General not to return missile fire on Russia and begin WWIII.

My synopsis has massive holes, but it really is a clever movie- sure to keep you on the edge of your seat. Well worth the price of admission when it comes back to theaters in August for a 25-year anniversary showing.

Next up: "The Money Pit"

Big

Awkward adolescent Josh Baskin wants to impress the popular girl, Cynthia, at a carnival and so bravely attempts to join her on a thrill ride there. Unfortunately, his short stature forbids him entry, according to the “must be this tall to ride” sign. Defeated, and on a whim, Josh places a quarter in the nearby wish-granting "Zoltar" machine and wishes to be big. Amazingly, his wish is granted...

Suddenly, 13-year old Josh (David Moscow) is transplanted into a 30-year old body (Tom Hanks). Now living life as an adult, Josh must get a job, pay for an apartment, and make new friends- most of all in the arms of corporate-ladder-climbing Susan, an unhappy middle-aged woman who finds her own “inner child,” so to speak, in a relationship with him. Josh finds success as a toy designer (naturally) and finds equal success as a lover. But ultimately, with the help of childhood best friend Billy, Josh remembers that the adult life and the ladder he's climbed is just a convenient lie and that his real place is home, playing stick ball, riding bikes and singing “shimmy shimmy coco puff” with his buddies. Once again at the Zoltar machine, his wish is granted: “I want to be a kid again.” The transformation takes place as he walks down the street toward home- all to the swelling accompaniment of strings. A touching ending to this fantastic story.

Tom Hanks is brilliant, the writing is fantastic, the music will make you want to cry, the message is profound... Remembering my disclaimer, I must say this is one of the GREAT movies of our generation. If it's been a while, you really should watch it again.

Next up: Wargames.

The Karate Kid

This being the first of several entries about my Summer of 80’s Movies, let me first disclaim whatever I may say with the admission that I have little to no authority when it comes to what classifies a good or a bad 80’s movie. Besides, that’s not the goal. I mean, I was only 2 when The Karate Kid first hit the big screen and 12 when I first became a fan of the trilogy; what could I possibly say except I remember watching these movies religiously when I was a kid and I loved them.

Part 1 is the coming-of-age story of Daniel Larusso, a Jersey teen who moves to the suburbs of California and meets the elderly Mr. Miyagi, his apartment’s maintenance man and, as it turns out, karate master. The story is about how Daniel overcomes the hateful rage of his bullying classmates with a defense of honor (which requires a swift kick to his opponent’s face called the “crane” technique). Elizabeth Shue plays Daniel’s “flame” as it were, but “Johnny,” Cobra Kai Dojo’s top student and Shue’s x-boyfriend, stands between them. The drama climaxes at a karate tournament where honor overcomes revenge (Daniel son lands a peaceful front kick to Johnny’s nose and is thus crowned champion).

In Part 2, Mr. Miyagi receives a letter informing him that his father is gravely ill. Daniel, being Miyagi’s closest friend, goes with him to Okinawa to lend support in his time of mourning. While in Okinawa, Miyagi faces his past: a woman whom he had loved and those who had stood between them decades ago. Meanwhile, Daniel falls in love with a girl and spends the better part of the movie defending her honor. In the final fight-to-the-death scene, Daniel defends her, defeating the vengeful foe with a honk of the nose (as Miyagi modeled at the beginning of the film). In my opinion, Karate Kid’s Part 2 is typical of most part 2’s: a waste of time except as a bridge between outstanding parts 1 and 3.

Part 3 was always my favorite as a kid. Daniel and Miyagi return from Okinawa only to find their apartment complex has been sold, leaving Miyagi without a job and both without a place to live. As the two are getting started on a new life selling bonsai trees, John Creasy (the bad guy from part 1) wants revenge and calls in a favor from friend and fellow karate superstar, Mr. Silver of the Cobra Kai Dojo, to destroy Miyagi and his naive student. Mr. Silver comes as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, deceiving the appetative Daniel into leaving the more passive method of Mr. Miyagi (who refused to train him for a tournament) for his own more aggressive fighting method. Of course a new girl is introduced, one who knows better of Daniel, even when he loses his way. Together, she and Miyagi try to remind Daniel of who he is, but he's caught hook line and sinker by what his new pal has empowered him to be. At a turning point, Daniel realizes his mistake and tries to leave Silver’s dojo but finds himself in the middle of a fight against three Cobra Kai masters. But don’t worry: the 180-year old Miyagi comes and beats them all into submission and then agrees to train Daniel son for the tournament. In the end, Daniel wins by a take-down/punch combo and the crowd goes wild (after having his rear handed to him for 12 rounds).

The perfect start to the Summer of 80’s Movies, I must say.

I leave you with a quote from Mr. Miyagi: “For person with no forgiveness in heart, living even worse punishment than death.” Think on that, friends... Think on that...

Next up: Tom Hanks in "Big."